Written at WRITE ON!

Written at WRITE ON! is a series of articles written by participants during a WRITE ON! workshop, and shared with the community.

Tyler Mateo Feliciano wrote this during Kind Fools’ June 11, 2024 WRITE ON! workshop at Good Shepherd Lutheran Church.

My Dearest Within Me

I hope to hold my dearest close to me for the rest of my life, to get to feel her skin pressed against mine as I wake up in the morning. To get to feel a mix of her warmth along with the beams of sunlight hitting my skin.

I wish for this skin to be fresh, to have molted away my old form in exchange for something new. I want my insides to match my outsides, to allow my guts to spill on the floor in a beautiful crimson red.

I will admit, do not know if this new form with will appear to most as human. Though I suppose the Holy Spirit I believe to hold within me cannot be defined by such mortal concept.

But I believe in myself far enough to know that I will carve myself open, and I will pinch and proud until I can learn the complexities of my core. I don’t know if it will be possible to ever fully understand me, but I am want to know enough to accept the things I cannot change, and to find the joy in the journey of my growth. I will embrace the abyss, and fall into the void. Maybe then I can learn to love myself.

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